In a move that has locals scratching their Patagonia-clad heads, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has announced that water skiing will debut at the 2032 Winter Olympics in Park City. Once famed for its pristine slopes at Deer Valley and Park City Mountain, the area’s melting snowpack and rain has transformed ski runs into what IOC President Claudette Frost called “a unique aquatic opportunity.” Standing on the banks of the newly formed Silver Lake Lagoon—once a beloved ski trail—Frost declared, “Park City is the perfect place to show how winter sports can adapt to our ever-warming world.”
The decision has sent shockwaves through the local winter sports community, with former Olympians swapping their ski poles for life vests. “It’s a tough adjustment,” admitted Bryce Powderman, a former alpine skier training on the Jordanelle Reservoir. “But at least I don’t have to worry about frostbite anymore.” The famed Utah Olympic Park, known for its iconic ski jumps, will now feature a “winterized” water ski slalom course, complete with artificial snowbanks for ambiance. Rumors even suggest the bobsled track may be repurposed as an elaborate water slide, though officials have yet to confirm this splashy development.
Not everyone is stoked about the transformation. Environmentalists have protested the move, arguing that instead of embracing the thaw, the Olympics should focus on preserving the snow. “This isn’t innovation—it’s capitulation,” said Dr. Greta Glazier, holding a Park City trail map. Locals are also concerned about how the city’s infrastructure will handle the influx of water skiers. “Where are they even going to stay?” asked a Main Street shop owner. “Air BNBs are already booked solid by tech bros and influencers.”
Despite the controversy, the IOC insists that this is a bold step forward. “Park City is a symbol of winter sports’ evolution,” Frost stated, as a paddleboarder glided by in the background. Already, Park City’s famed après-ski culture is adapting, with local bars offering après-surf specials and gear shops replacing ski boots with neoprene wetsuits. Whether this move is the future of winter sports or just a slippery slope remains to be seen—but one thing’s for sure: Park City’s Winter Olympics are making waves.