Welcome, weary internet traveler, to Park City Weekly—your semi-reliable source for made up stuff we hope you’ll read. We’re here to assure you that your privacy is very important to us. Not “invite-you-to-our-wedding” important, but more like “we-won’t-sell-your-soul-to-data-mining-overlords-until-we-really-need-cash” important.
Children Under 13: Please Go Play Outside
If you’re under 13, stop reading. Go touch grass. Or build a fort. We do not collect your data. Not because we’re saints, but because COPPA (the government’s version of a helicopter parent) says we’re not allowed. In fact, if you’re under 18, this site isn’t for you either. Sorry, youth—your memes must be sourced elsewhere.
Personal Data: We Don’t Want It, Promise
We don’t collect personal data. Like, zero. Zilch. Nada. We wouldn’t even recognize you in Fresh Market Macey’s, let alone online.
Now, non-personal data? Oh yeah, we dabble. Think of it as reading tea leaves made of ones and zeroes. We count how many of you show up, how long you linger, and whether you’re using Internet Explorer (in which case, we assume you’re lost).
Google Analytics is our digital crystal ball, showing us fun, anonymized stuff like how many people aged 25–34 love us and what kinds of ads they’d click if they weren’t busy ghosting their high school friends.
Cookies: The Browser Kind, Sadly
We might leave a “cookie” on your browser, but not the fun chocolate chip kind—just boring ones that make the site remember you. These cookies die when you close the browser, kind of like our hopes for monetizing this operation. You can delete them anytime, but don’t be shocked if the site acts a little forgetful after that.
Use of Data: What Data?
Did we mention we don’t use your personal data? Because we don’t have any. Seriously. You are basically a friendly ghost to us. Boo!
Links to Other Places That Aren’t Our Problem
Sometimes, we link to other sites. These are like the friend-of-a-friend at a party who we can’t vouch for. If you click one, you’re on your own, kid. Read their policies before giving them your social security number or naming your firstborn after their brand.
TLDR;
We’re not spying on you. We’re barely paying attention. But if that ever changes, we’ll write another policy and make it just as charmingly evasive. Until then, surf safe. Or recklessly. We’re not your mom.